My question is about fear and procrastination. I currently work with kids and want to expand my business. My vision is to teach/facilitate meditation and guided imagery for relaxation, connecting to source and for help in school, anxiety etc. I enrolled in a course and am finished the course work portion but I need to videotape myself giving a class to kids and send the tape in to receive certification. I am completely procrastinating and feel a lot of fear. I believe I am feeling overwhelmed with the thought of success. I also feel totally unprepared to actually teach meditation. I feel like I am just not good enough. I envision a meditation teacher as someone who is a spiritual guru, wears the clothes and is forever in a Zen like state and has all the answers. One thing I do know is that I am great with kids. I oscillate between being very excited and absolute dread. I know that this is a desire because I read the back of a kids meditation book and thought to myself “this is what I want to do” and then the course literally fell into my lap with very little effort in a very short period of time. I simply followed my inspiration to act.
When I opened my other business I felt very little fear and I am always into trying new things. For some reason in this particular area my confidence is really bad. It’s as though I am afraid of dreaming too big for fear it will not come true. My head is swimming with ideas and I feel my creative and business juices really flowing, however I am afraid of getting excited and then failing. I have never been afraid to fail before in my life and have experienced failure a LOT! Maybe those failures simply didn’t mean as much to me so it didn’t matter as much? I am really feeling quite stuck.
Einstein once said, “The most important question a person can ask is, “Is the Universe a friendly place?”
Indeed, how we answer that question is significant. When I first answered it, I was like, “of course it is friendly,” but my actions, my words, and my vibration did not align with the idea of it being friendly.
In my world at that time, I was a victim of my thoughts, having adapted them from ugly experiences as a child and the cultural templates my parents believed. I was constantly on a quest to find that one last “block” that kept me from having what I wanted, and each discovery was a new layer of the never-ending onion.
A world where you are broken and where all contrast boils down to searching for what is wrong with you is not a friendly place.
So what would a friendly Universe look like?
In a friendly Universe, everything and everyone in it would be there to serve you. Every time I say this I think of a Mark Twain quote that I will probably get wrong:
You see, this Universe is all about contrast. It is the contrast that makes it so interesting (and not in a Chinese curse kind of way.) Without contrast we couldn’t distinguish between blue and orange. Since we can distinguish the two we are able to decide which one we prefer. In this way, we can create a world based upon our preferences.
In very simplistic terms, we keep making these choices and it is our decisions of what we prefer that determine our experiences. As we create these experiences, sometimes we change our minds or decide that we want something more. When that happens, sometimes the thoughts that we have been holding collide with thoughts that are in alignment with the new experiences we are wanting. And so we have Contrast with a capital C and it doesn’t feel good..
The sole purpose of this contrast is to allow you to chose which thought you prefer. Your intuition helps you determine which thoughts are in alignment with what you want by showing you how you feel when you think those thoughts. The ones that feel better or like relief are in alignment with what you want, and thoughts that feel worse are delaying what you want.
So let’s take your experiences with your studies and look at them in a friendly Universe.
I read the back of a kids meditation book and thought to myself “this is what I want to do” and then the course literally fell into my lap with very little effort in a very short period of time. I simply followed my inspiration to act.
Just as it should be.
I enrolled in a course and am finished the course work portion but I need to videotape myself giving a class to kids and send the tape in to receive certification.
Doing great here.
I am completely procrastinating and feel a lot of fear.
In our society, we are taught that procrastination is a sign of weakness. We should, in the words of the late Roger Miller, “Just knuckle-down, buckle-down, do-it do-it do-it.” We should push through whatever it is that is standing in our way and grab the glory.
But the meaning of procrastination changes if you are living in a world where everything is here to serve you. What if procrastination was just your intuition telling you that your timing isn’t right, and you needed to wait a bit?
If you let procrastination be your intuition about timing, there is no need to go down the rabbit hole of:
- There must be something wrong with me.
- What am I afraid of?
- Maybe I’m feeling overwhelmed with the thought of success.
- OMG, I must be totally unprepared to teach meditation…
If you think back, as you started thinking these thoughts, you started feeling worse and worse. Your intuition was telling you, “These thoughts are not true. They do not serve you.” And you knew this. But you were procrastinating and there had to be a reason for it. Law of Attraction being what it is, brought you thoughts that provided evidence to support your adopted definition of procrastination.
So if you just change the meaning of procrastination you will see that, like always, you are/were not doing anything wrong.
In fact, everything is working out for you perfectly. Not only did you manifest a way to get back on track, (by following your intuition,) you learned that you can trust your intuition even more than you have before.
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(c)2014 Chip Engelmann