All of this ‘thinking thoughts that feel like relief’ is well and good, but is there a time when we should ‘review’ our manifestations? My dream is to become a well-known actress, I’m almost 24 now, I’ve had this dream for years and years, but only stumbled across LOA a little over a year ago. I have had some good gigs in the past (commercials, feature films, etc), but I want my ‘breakthrough’ role, the role that will define my whole career and I won’t have to audition from gig to gig or live on a struggling actor’s salary. I want to act in movies and be ‘successful’.
So about 2 months ago, I stumbled across a novel in a bookstore. Long story short, I found out that they are currently casting/making a movie for this same novel. I feel like I am the right person for the main character, so I felt inspired to contact the producer who’s also the author of the novel. A lot of synchronicities have happened around this event that I won’t get to the details, but basically the whole universe was/is saying to me “this is the part for you!”.
Only…2 months later, nothing happens. I don’t get a reply, I keep checking everyday to see if they have already casted (i would feel better to know that they’ve already casted than not knowing anything, at least then i can move on),but nothing. I know i should leave the ‘how’ to the universe, and only focus on what i really want which is a successful career as an actress, but I have told the universe “this or something better”, or “i just want to be happy” or “i want to have the career i want, I’m open to all ways in which it could come, whether that happens through this movie or not”. I have been saying these things and really feeling them for months and months and nothing is happening. I have read at another LOA blog that if its been 6 weeks and nothing happens then you should review/adjust your vibration, but for me its been years! I really don’t know what I’m doing wrong, i have released a lot of resistance in the past few months, i only do what feels good/or like relief, i really believe that it can happen for me, why isn’t it here yet?
In this case, it doesn’t feel better to just forget about this movie, because everything feels so ‘right’, i feel like the character was written for me! Her personality plus even the physical details are just like me. But it also doesn’t feel good to think about it, because I’ve visualized about this many many times that thinking more about it happening is just losing its charm or ‘novelty’ to me, and because its already been 2 months I’m losing faith that i will get to audition for it. Distract myself with something enjoyable? i have been doing that everyday for a long time.
I just don’t know what to think/do anymore…is it really too soon to take score? I feel like something would’ve already happened because I’ve been doing everything ‘right’! Please help…thanks!!
There are two questions that seem to underlie the situation as you state it above.
What am I doing wrong?
Is is time to give up?
The answer to the first is that it is impossible to do anything wrong. Your entire physical experience is your creation. You have created a place called Hollywood, and an industry where you get to pretend to be all kinds of people, and people who will adore you when you do so. You have also created the path as being difficult with people who judge you for all kinds of rational and irrational reasons. You have created producers and directors and casting directors who ignore you.
Notice there are things about what I said above that are in alignment with what you want and others that are not in alignment with what you want. Notice how you feel. There is nothing wrong with any of this. There are just things you like and don’t like about your creation.
The answer the second is that you can’t quit creating. But you can notice how you feel which is an indication of the vibrational distance between where you are and where you want to be. This is very much different than looking at your current creation, “what is,” and noticing that you don’t have what you want. “What is” is a reflection of what you have thought in the past and has no bearing on what you are creating.
When you decided you wanted this part, you created it along with the backstory of how you got to it. You are now living that backstory. Every thought and action you take will serve one of two functions. It will bring you closer to being in alignment with what you want or it will delay the having of what you want. Both are part of the process of you having what you want. Of course, following the better feeling thoughts and actions are bringing you more into alignment.
But consciously visualizing what you may not be bringing you more into alignment. Sometimes what happens is like ordering a book from Amazon. You place your order and select the free shipping option that will bring your book in 5 to 10 business days. Then when the fifth day comes and you notice you don’t have it, you cancel the order and order it again to make sure it is actually on the way.
But that scenario is entirely different from when you are just sitting around relaxing and you start to daydream about how it will be when you are playing off Leonardo DiCaprio and Merryl Streep. In the first you are telling the Universe you are not having what you want. And in the second, you are living fully in the vibration of the having of what you want. Again, notice how you feel when you read that.
There is no problem to solve. “Solving problems” is a cultural template propagated by an educational system. In order to solve a problem, you have to create a problem to solve. You can drop that whole notion by just being aware of what feels better and what feels worse.
When you ask if you should distract yourself with something that feels better, your words are correct, but your vibration is that of resignation.
You have already created your breakthrough role. You have felt it already. It is done. Now just relax and enjoy the process of how it unfolds, like you are reading a good mystery. Look for evidence of the Universe rearranging itself for your benefit. Look for clues of how things are working out. Don’t look for how it will happen like you need proof before it will, but rather watch like you are watching a painting develop from a blank canvas and delight in the splashes of color and form as they manifest.
You already know what you are doing. Just keep doing it.
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A while back, I decided that my mission was to answer questions. I knew that if I was going to sustain this mission I would have to find a way to make it pay for itself. At the same time, I felt that our current economic system was lopsided and I wanted to embody a new model. Finally, I found the model that feels right for me. With the exception of my books which need a fixed price to play in the marketplace, everything on this site is pay what it is worth. If you want a one-on-one session with me, then at the end you pay what you think it was worth. If you get value from reading a blog post or getting a question answered in a forum, consider dropping what it was worth to you in Mr. Piggy to the right. This is me being the change I want to see.
(c)2014 Chip Engelmann