Feeling Good vs Feeling Better

A lot of gurus and non-physical beings talk about how everything is easier if you feel good. This is all fine and dandy, but for whatever reason, many of the people who latch onto this concept have no idea how to get to the state of feeling good. What they do is try to “think positive” or do sort of a mock-up of “happy.”

The thing is that it is the emotional guidance system’s job to point out the vibrational distance between where you are and where you want to be. The wider the vibrational gap, the worse you feel. So if the person has a dominant vibration somewhere between misery and powerlessness and they force themselves maintain a false state of positivity and happiness–and this makes for a really wide vibrational gap. When they get tired of holding up the happy facade, everything crashes and they feel like crap.

If a person is down in the dumps, feeling good is just plain out of reach. If we trot out Abraham’s Emotional Scale we see that feeling like crap is clear on the other end of the scale from feeling good, and there is a lot of vibrational real estate between the two.

So I submit that feeling better from where you are is more sound advice than trying to feel good. Instead of trying jump from one end of the scale to the other, you take a series of baby steps. If you are feeling powerless, then anger empowers you. It wakes you up and gets your juices flowing. It spurs you to act. Of course, you don’t have to act on the anger. Instead you find a better feeling thought, like resentment or blame. Now none of these emotions actually feel good, but anger feels like relief when you are feeling powerless. Blame feels like relief when you are angry.

So if you are feeling bad, look for the thought that brings you relief.

Let’s look at a metaphor.

You go to a beach motel and you decide you want to sunbath and stick your toes in the water. You ask the manager where the beach is. He says the beach is right on the other side of a swamp, and there is a crude trail through the swap, but you’d be better off driving 5 miles down the road to the state park.

So you decide that you would rather be by yourself than with a bunch of tourists so you decide to make your way through the swamp. The trail is actually very crude and half the time you really don’t know if you are even on it. You take one wrong turn and now you are up to your neck in quicksand.

You want to be at the beach, but it’s a little difficult to visualize because you have to put a lot of effort into keeping the sand out of your mouth. But your foot feels something solid and you realize that you have found a rock. You don’t feel good, but you feel better than when you were sinking. You certainly feel relief. You use all your strength to get up on the rock and from there you see a root you can reach. Finding the root feels better than being stuck on a rock, but you still are a long way from feeling good. You use the root to pull yourself out of the quicksand into deep mud. It is a relief to be out of the quicksand and it certainly feels better, but you are laying in thick mud.

It is a relief to stand, but you are covered in mud and every step you have to pull your foot out of mud that would rather hold you down. You continually have to curl your toes to keep from losing your shoes. It feels like relief when you get on the trail again, but your heavy perspiration from your hard work has attracted mosquitoes. It really feels like relief when you get to the motel and take a shower getting rid of the mud and sand and foul odors.

Likewise it feels like relief when you are in the car driving towards the beach, relief when you arrive at the state park, relief when you find a parking spot, and relief when you setup your blanket and beach chair.

Now you can set about the practice of feeling good.

You made it to the beach even though you were up to your neck in quicksand. But when you were in quicksand, the only place you could go from there was the rock.

Likewise the path to finding a good feeling thought, lies through a series baby steps of finding better feeling thoughts, the ones that feel like relief from where you are.

So if you are a guru or a coach, I suggest it might be more practical to advise your clients to find a better feeling thought or a thought that feels like relief than it is to tell them to feel good.

Please scroll down to comment or ask a clarifying question.

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A while back, I decided that my mission was to answer questions. Since people value more what they get in equitable exchange, I have a created a way for this to happen. With the exception of my books which need a fixed price to play in the marketplace, everything on this site is pay what it is worth. If you want a one-on-one session with me, then at the end you pay what you think it was worth. If you get value from reading a blog post or getting a question answered in a forum, consider dropping what it was worth to you in Mr. Piggy to the right. This is me being the change I want to see.

Chip

(c)2014 Chip Engelmann

7 thoughts on “Feeling Good vs Feeling Better

  1. Marian

    I love the story-telling which makes it so much easier to understand. I was one of those who became disillusioned by the *positive thinking* bandwagon years ago because I wasn’t understanding this key point – gradually feeling better, rather than leaping to *everything solved and happy*

  2. Barb Williams

    Chip, this is dead on. Thanks so much for putting this in a easy to understand way. I don’t remember what it is like to feel good. I mean truly good. However, since my husband was killed, there have been many things to make me feel better. I understand the baby steps. For a person dealing with what I have gone through, sometimes it is a backwards step that then supports another step forward. The path towards feeling good in my case has required a change in attitude and a change in views. Mostly this has meant focusing on what I had and not what I lost. Focusing on how fortunate I was to meet Tom, to be his wife, and to be the mother of his son. It takes time, but some day I may reach feeling good again.

    Thanks for your wisdom!

  3. lilach111

    Hi, thanks for this…
    I really like the way you write.. i’ll further comment at the Tribe…
    Lilach

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