Category Archives: Metaphysics

Book Review: Deliberate Receiving by Melody Fletcher

Deliberate Receiving:

Finally, the Universe Makes Some Freakin’ Sense!


By Melody Fletcher

Available At Amazon

Paperback : $10.58

Kindle: $1.99

Whether you know just about everything there is to know about Law of Attraction (but still don’t have your stuff) or you are just starting to explore the idea that you might actually create your reality, this book has something for you. Melody just flat-out knows her stuff. In fact, she knows it so well that she can explain even the most difficult metaphysical concept in a way that is not only easily understandable, it is downright fun to read.

While most books I’ve seen on Law of Attraction are either: a) fluff, where the writer makes one undeveloped point over and over; or b) cliché, where the writer spouts misleading memes from the wisdom of the internet, both of which are trying to entice you purchasing their exorbitant programs, Melody gives you the complete package. She lays out the principles you need to understand your place in the manifestation process, then gives you practical techniques you can use change your vibration to align with what you are wanting. If you follow the well-thought out path she devised, you too can manifest the life of your dreams. No other purchases are needed.

One of the things I particularly liked was how she simplified Abraham’s emotional scale into clusters of emotions with vibrational similarities. She then gives specific techniques in how to rise from one emotional group to another. By simplifying, Melody makes aligning with the vibration of what you are wanting easier, and you walk away with the sense that you can actually have what you actually want. Of course, you still have to walk the path yourself. No one can do it for you.

Melody is well on her way to becoming a Law of Attraction superstar—one you should get to know. The place to start is buying and reading this book. It might be the best investment you ever make.

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Stuck? Ask Chip

If you would like me to address your question in this blog feel free to submit it to Ask Chip. You will remain anonymous. If you want help from multiple perspectives, fee free to ask your question on the Beach Fire Forum. If you would like more in-depth help, you can sign up for a Magical Life Coaching Session. Continue reading

Different Versions of People

Chip, I’d like your perspective on the following scenario:

We have Person A and Person B. They are both conscious creators. They are best friends.

Person A has a desire which Person B doesn’t resonate with, nearly at all, but understands allowing.

Person A aligns with their desire and manifests it.

In the case that Person B is now excited and happy for Person A:

Is person B a different version of themselves that reflects person A’s desire?

This question is like the Indian parable where 5 blind men are asked to describe an elephant. One grabs a leg and says the elephant is like a tree. One grabs the tail and says the elephant is like a snake. etc.

People are right based upon their perspective.

People who are physically-focused, at least on this planet, arrive with the idea that they are going to believe in time, permanence and continuity. From this we use the concept of time-lines to describe things. So when ghosts and aliens use the concept of parallel lives and parallel universes, they are creating metaphors to help us understand within our self-imposed limitations of time, permanence, and continuity.

Let’s assume this is a little ditty about Jack and Diane.

Starting with another metaphor, Diane desires something. There will always be a version of Diane that manifests that desire very quickly, and there will always be a version that delays the manifestation of that desire until after they die–with several in between. When a thought is given birth, a relationship exists between that thought and the person who gave birth to that thought. That relationship will be explored by both the thought and the person who gave birth to the thought from many different perspectives. But these are not parallel lives, because the relationship is vibrational, (like all relationships), and vibration is timeless. The relationship between Diane and her desire could be described using another metaphor–that of an explosion that instantly fills all parts of the universe.

So let’s pretend that you are Diane. You have an idea of who you are, which is, in reality, just one part of the entirety of YOU–an individual perspective.

In this relationship you have described, You have the idea who you are, the idea of the thought you gave birth to, and your idea of Jack (which is based upon your perception of Jack’s vibration).

So when you get your desire, your vibration changes relative to both the desire and Jack. Jack does not change, but your vibrational relationship with Jack now reflects an aspect of Jack you have not experienced before. In this case, you are aligning with an aspect of Jack that from your perspective, “understands allowing.”

Please scroll down to comment or ask a clarifying question. Click “Like” if you liked it. Doing so helps me build a community that will allow me to help more people.

Stuck? Ask Chip

If you would like me to address your question in this blog feel free to submit it to Ask Chip. You will remain anonymous. If you want help from multiple perspectives, fee free to ask your question on the Beach Fire Forum. If you would like more in-depth help, you can sign up for a Magical Life Coaching Session.

Am I just masking the problem?

Hey Chip!

A lot of times I will become heated, feel irritated or become generally charged up at things I read online. Things like bigotry, hate, racism, etc. I do recognize that these are reflections of my internal world and I do try to honor them as such, and ideally I will use them as opportunities to shift how I feel about them.

My question is in relation to action. One of my biggest triggers was the youtube comments section. Inevitably during any video I loved or found controversial, I would find myself automatically scrolling down and soaking up the comments; almost always to my detriment.

So what I did yesterday was install an add-on on my browser that blocked the comments altogether! Hey-presto! Now when I’m watching a video and scroll down, the comments are gone and I breathe a sigh of relief knowing I didn’t fall into that trap. It seems I have brought myself some ease and curbed the triggers. Or have I?

Now, the action I took has seemingly separated me from what I was feeling, but given my understanding of LOA – have I really solved anything? I was attracting those kind of feelings and triggers, so will they now just arise elsewhere?

Is there any practical use to what I did at all? Have I made any real difference to my experience and how I will feel in the long run?

Congratulations. You did everything perfectly. Not that you could have gotten anything wrong, but in terms of being a master manifester you were magnificent.

You experienced contrast. I hate bigotry. You honored that feeling, became okay with it, and it evolved away from you. From this contrast you made a decision. I want to experience YouTube without offending comments. In alignment with who you are, you found a piece of software, an idea that would create the very circumstance you were wanting. Using inspired action, you shifted your reality to actually have what you actually wanted.

You know it was in alignment with the truth of who you are because of the relief it brought you.

If and when you need to address more beliefs that you hold about the general topic of racism, you will have the opportunity. But in this case, you made a solid move in creating the reality you want to live in.

Time to pop the champagne corks

Please scroll down to comment or ask a clarifying question. Doing so helps me build a community that will allow me to help more people.

If you have a question you can use the Ask Chip link in the About Chip section or follow the Beach Party to the on-line forum.

If you want a one-on-one Surf Session with me, book it above and then at the end you pay what you think it was worth. If you get have an aha moment while reading a blog post or getting a question answered in a forum, consider honoring and valuing it by dropping what you think it was worth to you in Mr. Piggy to the right. This is me being the change in the world I want to see.

Chip

(c)2014 Chip Engelmann

The Kirby Method

Today, I gained a new respect for Kirby the Wonder Dog. I’ve always liked Kirby, I guess, in spite of the fact that he out-sleeps my cat by 4-5 hours a day and doesn’t play in any form. He’s oblivious to chipmunks and rabbit 10 feet away. If I were to be honest, what I would say he is just super-focused on “Oh my God, oh my God, I can pee on things.”

He’s so cute no one can kill him.KirbyShane01

There are however, two reason’s I would rather he was not around me.

  1. He omits olfactrons that are not in the wanted column of my experience. It’s everything. His breath. His body odor. He lets out bunkerbusters that silently thump the floor and spread out in an invisible flash of white light just before it burns the hair out of your nose. I know he doesn’t mean it quite this way, but he quietly sneaks up and goes to sleep under my office chair, and waits until I notice. I hold my nose and swear under my breath and he looks at me with goo-goo eyes.

  2. He has an allergy to flea bites and he scratches. Poor guy can’t help it. The thing is when he does, the thumps the floor with his hind foot and toenails so that it sounds like someone is outside insistently knocking on the front door. And he does it over and over and over not stopping ever, knocking knocking knocking for 35 minutes straight until you just want to pull your Cowboy Action completion 12 gauge 1897 Winchester Riot Gun out of retirement and…did I tell you he was cute?

He’s mostly an indoor dog. He likes going on walks. Other than that and going to the bathroom, there’s not much reason to go outdoors. It is much easier to sleep indoors. Oh, I invite him when I go to work in my remote garden office under the maple. Mostly he refuses. Unless I have a plate, then he beats me to the door. Today that plate had a roast beef on rye.

So I ate my sandwich and Kirby gave me the goo-goo eyes. I’m mostly immune, but I was either feeling good or feeling guilty and I shared. Soon the cat showed up. I gave her a piece, too. Mostly she doesn’t care what I’m eating, but she liked the roast beef.

So the three of us had a roast beef sandwich picnic.

The cat realized we were done, got up and continued her rounds. Kirby realizing the food was gone started off as well. I called him back. I know it is unfair, but the cat is territorial and was making her rounds. Kirby, on the other hand, is omnidirectional. He’ll take off and if I miss his leaving, I’ll get a call a couple hours later and have to drive a mile or two to collect him.

Kirby was disappointed because no doubt he thought it was a good time to go back inside and sleep. But he did the thing that felt better and started chewing grass. I went back to writing.

And then it hit me.

The all too familiar smell of dog poop. Kirby had planted a big one about 10 feet upwind of my remote office between me and the garden. I got my things together and went inside, cursing the whole way.

Now I’m pretty sure Kirby didn’t pull out an iPad and write an algorithm to calculate the exact location and size of his deposit, but it did the trick perfectly. He did what felt better–relieve himself of a grass- induced crapload—and that got him what he wanted, a nap inside.

He has Law of Attraction down pat. He focuses on taking a nap in his bed and then lets it go. He wanders back, notices some grass that didn’t get mowed and chews on it because it seems like the thing to do. He then does the thing that feels like relief. Not here. Not here. Not here. Here. Then launches a 24 inch spread of turds in an array to have a maximum effect.

Much more efficient than what we humans do. If we were Kirby and we were told we couldn’t take a nap in our bed we might think something like this:

I never get to take naps when I want. Sometimes I think he does it just to spite me. It’s just like my mother used to do. She never let me do anything. Treated me like a child. But I’ve done a lot of inner work on that so there must be something else wrong. I’m not a bad person, it’s not like it hurts anyone to take a nap, I mean, what skin is it off of his nose. Look at him just sitting there writing like he is the most important person in the world. Well fine. I’ll sit here but I don’t have to like. See if I do anything for him. The sonofabitch.”

And then we would emit the best passive aggressive vibes we can muster.

All-in-all, I think Kirby’s way works better.

Anyway, if you hear someone discussing the Kirby Method, although odds are you won’t, it is referring to:

  1. Feel into what you want, as soon as you have it, go on to something else.

  2. Do the next thing or think next thought that feels better.

  3. Crap in the yard.

Please scroll down to comment or ask a clarifying question..

If you have a question you can use the Ask Chip link in the About Chip section or follow the Beach Party to the on-line forum.

If you want a one-on-one session with me, then at the end you pay what you think it was worth. If you get value from reading a blog post or getting a question answered in a forum, consider dropping what it was worth to you in Mr. Piggy to the right. This is me being the change in the world I want to see.

Chip

(c)2014 Chip Engelmann

I Switch Between 2 Different Realities.

 Hi Chip,

Here is my story:

I have been trying to quit smoking for about 5 yrs. I tried all the physical tools that exist, and since introduction to metaphysical concepts, I tried some of non-physical methods. Conclusion: every single tool worked – temporarily. After a while something would happen, the cravings would be overwhelming and there I was, smoking again.

I realized that on some level I still needed smoking and that it must be serving me somehow. I stopped focusing on quitting and started observing what's going on inside and outside relative to my smoking patterns.

What came out is that I noticed that I switch between 2 significantly different realities. I know we shift billion times but that doesn't have much practical value since we are not aware of it. I am talking about 2 very visibly and significantly different realities: smoking and non-smoking one. Smoking one is lower dimensional reality, 'I am not worthy enough' reality, while non-smoking one is higher frequency, 'I am worthy' reality, each reflecting different external circumstances and people.

Here are couple of examples:
- I have some incompatibilities with my boss that totally disappear in my non-smoking reality: my boss becomes completely different person and we get along beautifully.
- There are couple of people in my life whose friendship has been leaving me empty and drained for a while now. I noticed that they don't exist in my non-smoking reality. I don't see them, I don't hear from them. The moment I start smoking again, the phone call comes and here they are.

It seems to me that I am using smoking as a sign post “You are now entering low vibrational reality”. Message from myself to myself?
  
I am not asking you for advice on how to quit smoking. This letter is not about that. Your blogs always bring me helpful insights and I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. What comes to your mind as you read this letter? How would you go about finding what it is that you need to let go, why is it that I still need something that doesn't seem beneficial to me? Would you look at it from totally different angle maybe?

You know that you are the creator of your reality. And in this reality you can have anything you want in the way that you want it. So borrowing and twisting the words of Abraham:

  • You can be a smoker and have a low vibration.
  • You can be a smoker and have a high vibration.
  • You can be a non-smoker and have a low vibration.
  • You can be a non-smoker and have a high vibration.

Now somewhere along the line you made the decision that smoking is bad for you and that as a non-smoker you have a higher vibration. This decision is neither good nor bad. It is simply how we shape our reality. We make decisions and those decisions about what we believe become the foundation of our experiences. Another such decision is that stopping smoking is difficult.

So having narrowed your decision tree to,

  • I can be a smoker with low vibration.
  • I can be a non-smoker with high vibration.

let’s look at the idea of separate realities. It could be that you are indeed shifting between parallel realities. When physically-focused beings reach a fork in the road that they believe has significance like quitting smoking, or taking a practical job instead of following your dream, or whether or not you marry your high school sweetheart, part of your consciousness goes down each fork creating parallel universes. In this way, you get the full experience of your incarnation. You are very efficient that way. You could be jumping back and forth between these parallel time-lines.

[As a side note: this is different than the way Bashar and others talk about how you are a fixed point in time/space and you move through parallel universes by shifting vibrations. They are different ideas, but not mutually exclusive.]

Another possibility is that you are at a point on your current time line before the smoker/non-smoker split, and you are seeing signs of Law of Attraction at work. For purposes of discussion, let’s use a basic definition of law of Attraction:

Thoughts you give birth to give rise to thoughts of similar vibration.

What this means in this case is that when you decided that smoking was of a low vibration you started collecting evidence to support how your decision was true. Likewise, when you decided non-smoking was high vibration, you started collecting evidence of how that was true. In doing so you created sort of vibrational bubbles [my words] and you are calling them different realities that you move in and out of. A difficulty you are experiencing about this is that you believe that the quality of relative worthiness varies within the bubbles. Deep down you know that this is not true, but it persists.

And of course you prefer one bubble over the other and you have contrast. You want the bubble of non-smoker, but you believe based upon the evidence that you have cravings and yield to them, that you are a smoker.

You will notice that this discussion is about meaning and decisions, and beliefs, and thoughts. And it should be because that is what determines what we experience. But in a metaphysical, Law of Attraction sense, there are some thoughts and beliefs that are in alignment with what you want and those that are not in alignment with what you want–not in alignment with the truth of who you are.

So what I am proposing is an experiment with alignment. In this experiment, you drop the whole idea that smoking is bad, low vibration, low self-worth, etc. and start with a clean slate. This is impossible I know, but it is a pretend game, and there is no reason to beat yourself for slipping into old thought habits.

So if smoking is not bad, you can feel free to smoke. BUT, and this is a big but, only if and when it feels like relief to do so. If you follow that one rule, you will be in alignment with the smoking of that cigarette. And then see what comes up. Notice if you feel guilt, or shame, or disappointment, or anger, or self-hate. Smoking this cigarette is about collecting data that points to the beliefs you hold that are out of alignment with the truth of who you are.

And when these emotions arise, allow them to grow within you until you feel them burning themselves out. When they have lost their energy look at the belief you hold that was at the core of those bad feelings. At one point it felt like relief to think this way, but you have evolved and it no longer serves you. Let it be okay that you thought that way, thank the thought, and let it evolve away from you.

Keep collecting data this way until it no longer feels like relief to do so.

If you decide to smoke when it feels worse to do so, it’s okay. That too is information. Just know that thoughts of self-recrimination are also not in alignment with the truth of who you are and you know this by how you feel.

Eventually, there will be no more data to collect and you will be done. Enough thoughts will be in alignment with the truth of who you are and you will be free to move on.

Please scroll down to comment or ask a clarifying question..

If you have a question you can use the Ask Chip link in the About Chip section or follow the Beach Party to the on-line forum.

If you want a one-on-one session with me, then at the end you pay what you think it was worth. If you get value from reading a blog post or getting a question answered in a forum, consider dropping what it was worth to you in Mr. Piggy to the right. This is me being the change in the world I want to see.

Chip

(c)2014 Chip Engelmann

Manifesting My Breakthrough Role

Hi Chip,

All of this ‘thinking thoughts that feel like relief’ is well and good, but is there a time when we should ‘review’ our manifestations? My dream is to become a well-known actress, I’m almost 24 now, I’ve had this dream for years and years, but only stumbled across LOA a little over a year ago. I have had some good gigs in the past (commercials, feature films, etc), but I want my ‘breakthrough’ role, the role that will define my whole career and I won’t have to audition from gig to gig or live on a struggling actor’s salary. I want to act in movies and be ‘successful’.

So about 2 months ago, I stumbled across a novel in a bookstore. Long story short, I found out that they are currently casting/making a movie for this same novel. I feel like I am the right person for the main character, so I felt inspired to contact the producer who’s also the author of the novel. A lot of synchronicities have happened around this event that I won’t get to the details, but basically the whole universe was/is saying to me “this is the part for you!”.

Only…2 months later, nothing happens. I don’t get a reply, I keep checking everyday to see if they have already casted (i would feel better to know that they’ve already casted than not knowing anything, at least then i can move on),but nothing. I know i should leave the ‘how’ to the universe, and only focus on what i really want which is a successful career as an actress, but I have told the universe “this or something better”, or “i just want to be happy” or “i want to have the career i want, I’m open to all ways in which it could come, whether that happens through this movie or not”. I have been saying these things and really feeling them for months and months and nothing is happening. I have read at another LOA blog that if its been 6 weeks and nothing happens then you should review/adjust your vibration, but for me its been years! I really don’t know what I’m doing wrong, i have released a lot of resistance in the past few months, i only do what feels good/or like relief, i really believe that it can happen for me, why isn’t it here yet?

In this case, it doesn’t feel better to just forget about this movie, because everything feels so ‘right’, i feel like the character was written for me! Her personality plus even the physical details are just like me. But it also doesn’t feel good to think about it, because I’ve visualized about this many many times that thinking more about it happening is just losing its charm or ‘novelty’ to me, and because its already been 2 months I’m losing faith that i will get to audition for it. Distract myself with something enjoyable? i have been doing that everyday for a long time.

I just don’t know what to think/do anymore…is it really too soon to take score? I feel like something would’ve already happened because I’ve been doing everything ‘right’! Please help…thanks!!

Hi,

There are two questions that seem to underlie the situation as you state it above.

What am I doing wrong?

Is is time to give up?

The answer to the first is that it is impossible to do anything wrong. Your entire physical experience is your creation. You have created a place called Hollywood, and an industry where you get to pretend to be all kinds of people, and people who will adore you when you do so. You have also created the path as being difficult with people who judge you for all kinds of rational and irrational reasons. You have created producers and directors and casting directors who ignore you.

Notice there are things about what I said above that are in alignment with what you want and others that are not in alignment with what you want. Notice how you feel. There is nothing wrong with any of this. There are just things you like and don’t like about your creation.

The answer the second is that you can’t quit creating. But you can notice how you feel which is an indication of the vibrational distance between where you are and where you want to be. This is very much different than looking at your current creation, “what is,” and noticing that you don’t have what you want. “What is” is a reflection of what you have thought in the past and has no bearing on what you are creating.

When you decided you wanted this part, you created it along with the backstory of how you got to it. You are now living that backstory. Every thought and action you take will serve one of two functions. It will bring you closer to being in alignment with what you want or it will delay the having of what you want. Both are part of the process of you having what you want. Of course, following the better feeling thoughts and actions are bringing you more into alignment.

But consciously visualizing what you may not be bringing you more into alignment. Sometimes what happens is like ordering a book from Amazon. You place your order and select the free shipping option that will bring your book in 5 to 10 business days. Then when the fifth day comes and you notice you don’t have it, you cancel the order and order it again to make sure it is actually on the way.

But that scenario is entirely different from when you are just sitting around relaxing and you start to daydream about how it will be when you are playing off Leonardo DiCaprio and Merryl Streep. In the first you are telling the Universe you are not having what you want. And in the second, you are living fully in the vibration of the having of what you want. Again, notice how you feel when you read that.

There is no problem to solve. “Solving problems” is a cultural template propagated by an educational system. In order to solve a problem, you have to create a problem to solve. You can drop that whole notion by just being aware of what feels better and what feels worse.

When you ask if you should distract yourself with something that feels better, your words are correct, but your vibration is that of resignation.

You have already created your breakthrough role. You have felt it already. It is done. Now just relax and enjoy the process of how it unfolds, like you are reading a good mystery. Look for evidence of the Universe rearranging itself for your benefit. Look for clues of how things are working out. Don’t look for how it will happen like you need proof before it will, but rather watch like you are watching a painting develop from a blank canvas and delight in the splashes of color and form as they manifest.

You already know what you are doing. Just keep doing it.

 

Please scroll down to comment or ask a clarifying question..

A while back, I decided that my mission was to answer questions. I knew that if I was going to sustain this mission I would have to find a way to make it pay for itself. At the same time, I felt that our current economic system was lopsided and I wanted to embody a new model. Finally, I found the model that feels right for me. With the exception of my books which need a fixed price to play in the marketplace, everything on this site is pay what it is worth. If you want a one-on-one session with me, then at the end you pay what you think it was worth. If you get value from reading a blog post or getting a question answered in a forum, consider dropping what it was worth to you in Mr. Piggy to the right. This is me being the change I want to see.

Chip

(c)2014 Chip Engelmann

Basics of Law of Attraction

You create everything: the walls around you; the chair you are sitting on; the trees and birds outside your windows; and your family. And all of this is perfect.

This is the first step. Look around and see the wonder of your creation. Everything and everyone you have created is there to serve you–even the parts you don’t like. You created all of it from the universe of your thoughts. Most of it you like. Some of it you don’t like.

How you create what you don’t like and how you create what you do like is exactly the same. The part you don’t like comes from thoughts that served you well in the past, but now you have outgrown these thoughts and it is time to let them evolve away from you.

Some of your thoughts are aligned with what you want your world to look like and other thoughts are aligned with what you don’t want. The way you tell the difference is how they make you feel. If you are feeling bad, it is because what you are thinking is not helping you get what you want. If you take the time to identify what you are thinking when you feel bad, you then have the opportunity to change that thought to something that feels better.

There is no unconscious like described by Carl Jung. There are no thoughts hidden from you. But there are thoughts and ideas that you believe to be true without question. Some useful examples are thoughts of time, permanence, continuity, and gravity. Think how practical it is not to worry about floating off the ground.

Thoughts that are not useful are thoughts like: I am not good enough; I am bad at creation; I am doing it wrong (or I must get it right); I can’t do this; It is hard to change my life; I must work hard to get money; and Law of Attraction is complicated and difficult.

Again how you tell thoughts that are useful to you from those that are not useful to you is how they feel. Trying to think “positive thoughts” doesn’t work because you are still attached to the thoughts you don’t question about what is true. All that happens is that you see how far you are from where you want to be and it hurts.

But that same pain points you right at the group of thoughts that are not aligned with what you want. The pain itself serves you and is perfect. If you allow those bad feelings to be perfect, then you can easily follow them to the thoughts that created those bad feelings, and you can change them to thoughts that feel better.

Now, what do you want to talk about?
Please scroll down to comment or ask a clarifying question..

A while back, I decided that my mission was to answer questions. I knew that if I was going to sustain this mission I would have to find a way to make it pay for itself. At the same time, I felt that our current economic system was lopsided and I wanted to embody a new model. Finally, I found the model that feels right for me. With the exception of my books which need a fixed price to play in the marketplace, everything on this site is pay what it is worth. If you want a one-on-one session with me, then at the end you pay what you think it was worth. If you get value from reading a blog post or getting a question answered in a forum, consider dropping what it was worth to you in Mr. Piggy to the right. This is me being the change I want to see.

Chip

(c)2014 Chip Engelmann

Feeling Good vs Feeling Better

A lot of gurus and non-physical beings talk about how everything is easier if you feel good. This is all fine and dandy, but for whatever reason, many of the people who latch onto this concept have no idea how to get to the state of feeling good. What they do is try to “think positive” or do sort of a mock-up of “happy.”

The thing is that it is the emotional guidance system’s job to point out the vibrational distance between where you are and where you want to be. The wider the vibrational gap, the worse you feel. So if the person has a dominant vibration somewhere between misery and powerlessness and they force themselves maintain a false state of positivity and happiness–and this makes for a really wide vibrational gap. When they get tired of holding up the happy facade, everything crashes and they feel like crap.

If a person is down in the dumps, feeling good is just plain out of reach. If we trot out Abraham’s Emotional Scale we see that feeling like crap is clear on the other end of the scale from feeling good, and there is a lot of vibrational real estate between the two.

So I submit that feeling better from where you are is more sound advice than trying to feel good. Instead of trying jump from one end of the scale to the other, you take a series of baby steps. If you are feeling powerless, then anger empowers you. It wakes you up and gets your juices flowing. It spurs you to act. Of course, you don’t have to act on the anger. Instead you find a better feeling thought, like resentment or blame. Now none of these emotions actually feel good, but anger feels like relief when you are feeling powerless. Blame feels like relief when you are angry.

So if you are feeling bad, look for the thought that brings you relief.

Let’s look at a metaphor.

You go to a beach motel and you decide you want to sunbath and stick your toes in the water. You ask the manager where the beach is. He says the beach is right on the other side of a swamp, and there is a crude trail through the swap, but you’d be better off driving 5 miles down the road to the state park.

So you decide that you would rather be by yourself than with a bunch of tourists so you decide to make your way through the swamp. The trail is actually very crude and half the time you really don’t know if you are even on it. You take one wrong turn and now you are up to your neck in quicksand.

You want to be at the beach, but it’s a little difficult to visualize because you have to put a lot of effort into keeping the sand out of your mouth. But your foot feels something solid and you realize that you have found a rock. You don’t feel good, but you feel better than when you were sinking. You certainly feel relief. You use all your strength to get up on the rock and from there you see a root you can reach. Finding the root feels better than being stuck on a rock, but you still are a long way from feeling good. You use the root to pull yourself out of the quicksand into deep mud. It is a relief to be out of the quicksand and it certainly feels better, but you are laying in thick mud.

It is a relief to stand, but you are covered in mud and every step you have to pull your foot out of mud that would rather hold you down. You continually have to curl your toes to keep from losing your shoes. It feels like relief when you get on the trail again, but your heavy perspiration from your hard work has attracted mosquitoes. It really feels like relief when you get to the motel and take a shower getting rid of the mud and sand and foul odors.

Likewise it feels like relief when you are in the car driving towards the beach, relief when you arrive at the state park, relief when you find a parking spot, and relief when you setup your blanket and beach chair.

Now you can set about the practice of feeling good.

You made it to the beach even though you were up to your neck in quicksand. But when you were in quicksand, the only place you could go from there was the rock.

Likewise the path to finding a good feeling thought, lies through a series baby steps of finding better feeling thoughts, the ones that feel like relief from where you are.

So if you are a guru or a coach, I suggest it might be more practical to advise your clients to find a better feeling thought or a thought that feels like relief than it is to tell them to feel good.

Please scroll down to comment or ask a clarifying question.

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A while back, I decided that my mission was to answer questions. Since people value more what they get in equitable exchange, I have a created a way for this to happen. With the exception of my books which need a fixed price to play in the marketplace, everything on this site is pay what it is worth. If you want a one-on-one session with me, then at the end you pay what you think it was worth. If you get value from reading a blog post or getting a question answered in a forum, consider dropping what it was worth to you in Mr. Piggy to the right. This is me being the change I want to see.

Chip

(c)2014 Chip Engelmann

Life in a Friendly Universe

Hello Chip,

My question is about fear and procrastination. I currently work with kids and want to expand my business. My vision is to teach/facilitate meditation and guided imagery for relaxation, connecting to source and for help in school, anxiety etc. I enrolled in a course and am finished the course work portion but I need to videotape myself giving a class to kids and send the tape in to receive certification. I am completely procrastinating and feel a lot of fear. I believe I am feeling overwhelmed with the thought of success. I also feel totally unprepared to actually teach meditation. I feel like I am just not good enough. I envision a meditation teacher as someone who is a spiritual guru, wears the clothes and is forever in a Zen like state and has all the answers. One thing I do know is that I am great with kids. I oscillate between being very excited and absolute dread. I know that this is a desire because I read the back of a kids meditation book and thought to myself “this is what I want to do” and then the course literally fell into my lap with very little effort in a very short period of time. I simply followed my inspiration to act.

When I opened my other business I felt very little fear and I am always into trying new things. For some reason in this particular area my confidence is really bad. It’s as though I am afraid of dreaming too big for fear it will not come true. My head is swimming with ideas and I feel my creative and business juices really flowing, however I am afraid of getting excited and then failing. I have never been afraid to fail before in my life and have experienced failure a LOT! Maybe those failures simply didn’t mean as much to me so it didn’t matter as much? I am really feeling quite stuck.

Einstein once said, “The most important question a person can ask is, “Is the Universe a friendly place?”

Indeed, how we answer that question is significant. When I first answered it, I was like, “of course it is friendly,” but my actions, my words, and my vibration did not align with the idea of it being friendly.

In my world at that time, I was a victim of my thoughts, having adapted them from ugly experiences as a child and the cultural templates my parents believed. I was constantly on a quest to find that one last “block” that kept me from having what I wanted, and each discovery was a new layer of the never-ending onion.

A world where you are broken and where all contrast boils down to searching for what is wrong with you is not a friendly place.

So what would a friendly Universe look like?

In a friendly Universe, everything and everyone in it would be there to serve you. Every time I say this I think of a Mark Twain quote that I will probably get wrong:

“Every man I meet makes me happy, some when the arrive and others when they leave.”

You see, this Universe is all about contrast. It is the contrast that makes it so interesting (and not in a Chinese curse kind of way.) Without contrast we couldn’t distinguish between blue and orange. Since we can distinguish the two we are able to decide which one we prefer. In this way, we can create a world based upon our preferences.

In very simplistic terms, we keep making these choices and it is our decisions of what we prefer that determine our experiences. As we create these experiences, sometimes we change our minds or decide that we want something more. When that happens, sometimes the thoughts that we have been holding collide with thoughts that are in alignment with the new experiences we are wanting. And so we have Contrast with a capital C and it doesn’t feel good..

The sole purpose of this contrast is to allow you to chose which thought you prefer. Your intuition helps you determine which thoughts are in alignment with what you want by showing you how you feel when you think those thoughts. The ones that feel better or like relief are in alignment with what you want, and thoughts that feel worse are delaying what you want.

So let’s take your experiences with your studies and look at them in a friendly Universe.

I read the back of a kids meditation book and thought to myself “this is what I want to do” and then the course literally fell into my lap with very little effort in a very short period of time. I simply followed my inspiration to act.

Just as it should be.

I enrolled in a course and am finished the course work portion but I need to videotape myself giving a class to kids and send the tape in to receive certification.

Doing great here.

I am completely procrastinating and feel a lot of fear.

In our society, we are taught that procrastination is a sign of weakness. We should, in the words of the late Roger Miller, “Just knuckle-down, buckle-down, do-it do-it do-it.” We should push through whatever it is that is standing in our way and grab the glory.

But the meaning of procrastination changes if you are living in a world where everything is here to serve you. What if procrastination was just your intuition telling you that your timing isn’t right, and you needed to wait a bit?

If you let procrastination be your intuition about timing, there is no need to go down the rabbit hole of:

  • There must be something wrong with me.
  • What am I afraid of?
  • Maybe I’m feeling overwhelmed with the thought of success.
  • OMG, I must be totally unprepared to teach meditation…

If you think back, as you started thinking these thoughts, you started feeling worse and worse. Your intuition was telling you, “These thoughts are not true. They do not serve you.” And you knew this. But you were procrastinating and there had to be a reason for it. Law of Attraction being what it is, brought you thoughts that provided evidence to support your adopted definition of procrastination.

So if you just change the meaning of procrastination you will see that, like always, you are/were not doing anything wrong.

In fact, everything is working out for you perfectly. Not only did you manifest a way to get back on track, (by following your intuition,) you learned that you can trust your intuition even more than you have before.

Please scroll down to comment or ask a clarifying question.

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If you would like to have a question answered, please go to the “Ask Chip” option on the “About Chip” menu tab.

Chip

(c)2014 Chip Engelmann

How Do I Bring My Husband On Board?

Hi Chip!

Here is my situation. I have the wonderful opportunity to adopt 2 siblings, both boys. I have one of my own who is 8. My husband and I have tried for years to have more, we tried everything medically possible with no results. Now we have an opportunity to adopt these siblings, but my husband is not on board.

My question is, how does one deal with this type of situation when you want to follow your hearts desire by having more children through adoption, but your other half is not on board. I feel like I have to give up my desires now. I will have this desire to have more children forever!! It is making me angry that I am giving in to his desires of not having more children so that I can fulfill his desire and deny me my desire. I feel like I have no say and my heart is breaking!!

I’d like to start this conversation with a little background on the nature of relationships. This topic brings forth a bit of a paradox because on one had we are told that we create our reality—all of it—and on the other hand most gurus adopt the lexicon of Abraham and say we co-create our reality. Both of which are true. But the term “co-create” is misleading if we look at it from a physically-focused perspective. It implies that there is a physical reality outside the one you create that you share with other people.

But co-creation happens on a vibrational level and the physical reality you create is all you. For this reason, I prefer the term blending reality as used by my non-physical friend Paul.

For purposes of demonstration let’s assume that the blue sphere represents you and the purple sphere represents your husband.

You each have had experiences and learned different things so you see the worlds differently. Because your experiences have colored your world blue, you see the world through your blue filter. It is simply impossible to see anything your husband sees because his world is filtered purple. Likewise ,he can’t see the blue world you see because he can only see purple.

Now there is an intersection where your vibrations are similar and this is how you relate to him. But you don’t see him, you see a version of him that you have created– a blue version of him. Your relationship is the relationship between your idea of you with your version of him.

You do this with everything and everybody. This is why people like to point out that when you see something you don’t like in someone else, you are seeing a reflection of you.

And you use this reflective properties to your advantage all the time. When you are feeling conflicted, you will align with people who will demonstrate your conflicting thoughts so that you can choose something different. You might see an unhappy angry person and decide that you don’t want to be angry and unhappy. In this way, you can make a decision without having to dive into the angry and unhappy thoughts you have been holding.

Of course, most of the people you hang with reflect your dominant vibration. People like your husband and son reflect the parts of you that you like to express the most. However, conflict can still occur, as reflected in your issue of adoption.

I brought up all of this to point out that the conflict you are feeling over the adoption is all you. You are using your husband to pull forth the conflicting thoughts you are having about the adoption of these two boys. If you were not conflicted, you would line up with the version of your husband that is on board with bringing these two new boys into your family.

So what do you do with this?

Contrast like this is always working for you to bring you the entirety of what you are wanting. It helps you refine and define what it is you really want. It does this by exposing the thoughts you are thinking that are not in alignment with the having of what you are wanting. It shows you the cultural templates you are bucking, the fears you have, and the attitudes and beliefs that will cause you grief.

You bring this contrast to the surface either through direct experience, or through the words and actions of others. Often when people feel so strongly about what they want that they blind themselves to the contrasting thoughts that are standing in their own way, they will call forth other people to get in their face to make them confront the contrast. This is not to say that your husband is right, rather it is a call to pay attention to the thoughts you are holding.

  • Listen to his words. What is he telling you directly?
  • Listen to his concerns? What feelings is he evoking?
  • Feel the vibration of where he is coming from.

Some of your concerns might be:

  • It would be a sudden financial burden.
  • They might turn out to be little hellions or delinquents.
  • They might turn your son into a delinquent.
  • Your son might get jealous.
  • The 3 boys might not get along and the fights would be 2 against one.
  • You might feel shame about not being able to conceive naturally.

Your concerns may turn out to be about adopting in general or they may turn out to be something you sense in the vibration of these particular boys.

Take each of the concerns and allow the emotions you are feeling to percolate. What are the thoughts that are coming to light? Does it feel better or worse to think these thoughts. If they feel better or like relief, these are ones you want to stay with for now. If they feel worse, look for the thought that feels better.

Do this with each concern that arises. As you do, you will notice that you are refining and redefining what it is that you want out of expanding your family. Notice how you want to feel and go with that feeling for a while.

Now you have a better perspective on this situation, and it was all because you were able to call forth your husband to express your objections. Whether or not you decide to move forward with these two boys, you will have a clearer vision and intention of what you want to experience.

If you decide not to adopt these boys, remember you are in the middle of the story. You will have other opportunities to adopt if that is what you want. Or you can find peace if you have changed your mind.

Please scroll down to comment or ask a clarifying question.

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If you would like to have a question answered, please go to the “Ask Chip” option on the “About Chip” menu tab.

Chip

(c)2014 Chip Engelmann