Monthly Archives: December 2013

The Best Way to Attract a Great Relationship


Can you please speak on the best way to attract a great relationship? I feel like I’ve been trying forever, to no avail. (Maybe that’s my problem?)

Now I feel discouraged and like throwing in the towel on the whole matter. I know what feels good to me to visualize but I don’t know if that really exists in reality. Maybe I have to settle. Maybe I’m not allowed to really have it. Maybe I have to learn a whole bunch of lessons first before it comes along. I just don’t know. I’m confused and don’t know how to sort it out.

My guess is that the idea of “throwing in the towel” feels like relief. But you still want the relationship.

Your intuition was talking pretty loudly to you when you wrote this, wasn’t it? You are trying to manage the creation of this relationship because you think if you don’t do something, it isn’t going to happen.

I’ve got news for you. Your intuition is telling you, “It’s done. You have that relationship. You’ve created it. Let it come to you.”

Think of it like ordering a book from Amazon. You placed the order, now you just have to wait the 5-8 working days for it to arrive. The last thing you would do is notice on day three that it isn’t there yet and order the book again. But that is what we do when we try to make it happen. We notice that we don’t have it yet, and when we do, the Universe knocks the book off the UPS conveyer belt and your package is delayed. Then after you forget about it, some janitor finds the book and puts it back on the belt.

Think of this new dream relationship in the same way you would think of the book you ordered from Amazon. If you knew in uncertain terms that your person was coming, how would you be acting? Would you be going out and enjoying other people’s company—not intending to get serious, but hey, company at movies is fun? Dancing is fun. Flirting is fun. Eating out is fun. Would you enjoy benefits?

Would you spend time preparing your space for a new person, or would you be organizing your stuff so that you got rid of the things that you wouldn’t want to move?

If it were me, I would say, “Now that I have my relationship, what can I do to best celebrate being ‘single’ before the person shows up?”

Undoubtedly, you will experience some contrast. The relationship you are asking for is a different vibration than the vibration you currently hold. The contrast that comes up is merely pointing out thoughts you are thinking that are delaying your person’s arrival. Listen to what they are saying. Often it is as simple as making a turning it around: “Not allowed to have it? How interesting. Of course, I can have it. I can have anything I want.” Or, “Maybe I have to learn a bunch of lessons. Ha ha. As if I could get it wrong!”

This can be very easy. The contrast is merely giving you the opportunity to replace unaligned thoughts.

Relax. Enjoy yourself while the “package” is coming. Stay home or go out as you are inspired to do. This relationship is a done deal.

Please scroll down to comment or ask a clarifying question.


This question arrived just as I was finishing the previous one. As a general rule, I like to answer questions promptly. But I’m sure there will be times that for one reason or another, it might be delayed. But don’t be surprised when questions get posted on the same day as another question.


(c)2013 Chip Engelmann

Creating Our Universe While Blending Reality with Others

If we are all so depthfully creators of our own universe, why is it that we all even exist in the same plane in the first place? If no human interaction was meaningful beyond what we create in our own head, what’s the point of anything?

The implication of your question is that it is logically impossible to create your own reality in its entirety and still have interaction with other people.

The truth is that we do, in fact, create our reality in its entirety and we blend reality with others through our vibrations.

We are dynamic energetic beings who are maintain the illusion of being separated from our Higher Self to experience the contrast of being physically-focused. But we are more that our physical bodies, we are the universe of our thoughts. These thoughts are what create our reality. We give birth to an endless stream of thoughts and from this stream of thoughts we decide what is real and assign meaning.

We create our experiences from what we expect and what we believe to be true. These beliefs and expectations are unique to each of us. Like all thoughts, they are energy and have a specific energetic vibration.

These thoughts through vibration, call forth others who have thoughts of similar vibration. You attract people with similar financial situations in one part of your life, people with similar romantic interests in another area of your life, and people who share you hobbies and pastimes in another area of your life. You are multidimensional so you call forth a multitude of people.

But you are completely different from everyone else. Your thoughts are based upon your experiences no one else has a clue what you are thinking. Likewise, you have no clue what anyone else is thinking.

So when you blend reality with someone else, what you are doing is projecting what you think the relationship means onto this person. In essence, they become a reflection of who you are. Like you they are multidimensional, and you are seeing only this small piece of them, and seeing that through the lens of your own experiences. You see this blending in one way and they see it in another way completely.

An example might be that you blend a vibration of a world in which governments are oppressive. To you that oppression might mean governments passing laws that relegate people to the role of consumers of products we don’t want to boost corporate sales, while the other person sees government oppression as low flying helicopters blasting techo music.

So you create your own world, and the blending you do with others is a reflection back to you of your creation. That is not to say that this interaction cannot be pleasurable or stimulating or fulfilling, or irritating. They can be all that and more. But this relationship is your version of that person—not who they are.

Ultimately, you create the universe of your thoughts in its entirety.

Please scroll down to comment or ask a clarifying question.


The website seems to be functioning, but there still might be a few bugs. If you experience any problems, please email me so I can get on them and sort them out.


(c)2013 Chip Engelmann

The “Be Happy” Trap

Hi Chip,

Why does Abraham spend soooooo much time preaching to feel happy and all else follow, when it doesn’t seem to work?

Although I studied the Teachings of Abraham extensively 5-6 years ago, I have not done more than watch an occasional YouTube video since, so bear with me.

All creation follows roughly the same method. How you create a meal is no different than creating a wad of cash. You feel contrast, you ramp up your desire, you notice your alignment, and you allow it to come into being. If you needed to be happy to get your food, there would be a lot of hungry people out there.

If you are happy, however, the alignment and allowing part flow a little more smoothly.

But there are a few built-in traps to thinking that the path to getting what you want is to be happy.

The first is that most people create an a mental if-then statement.

If I become happy, then I get get what I want.

If this is postulated, then what you want, say a wad of cash, gets relegated to the future, and happiness is a required stepping stone. What happens is we shift our attention from what we want to becoming happy. In fact, happiness and a wad of cash are unrelated topics with different vibrations.

To complicate things even further, even though we are told repeatedly that you shouldn’t wait until you have money to be happy, a lot of people look at money as a way to solve problems. And we think:

When I get that wad of cash, I can be happy.


(or I can relax and be happy).

So now we’ve created a loop. You can’t get money without being happy, but you can’t be happy until you get the money.

The second trap involves contrast.

We create our reality through, our thoughts, expectations and beliefs. When we consciously create, we are setting forth an intention to manifest what we want. Most of the time when we do this it manifests very quickly. If we want an ice cream cone we get into a car and go get it.

But if we want something that we notice is not in our experience, like a large wad of cash, then when we set our intention, we notice contrasting or bad feeling emotions arise. This the Universe showing us he thoughts we hold that run counter to what we want.

For example we might want to create:

I want a wad of cash.

And then you might think out of habit from our cultural template:

Rich people are evil.

I don’t want to be evil.

I don’t want a wad of cash.


So now you have two conflicting thoughts:

I want a wad of cash.

I don’t want a wad of cash.

And you feel it as contrast.

The contrast you experience is there to serve you. It tells you how far the thought or belief you have is from where you want it to be. Ideally, you just experience the emotion and let it point out the thought or belief so you can change it. In this case, you can reverse the idea that rich people are evil and postulate what you would rather have instead.

I am a magnificent being or light and love and no amount of money can change that.


But if we are holding the idea that we need to we happy, then what we do is smooth over the contrast and think happy thoughts. The more we do this, the more contrast we create, the more we smooth it over, the more contrast we create, the more we smooth it over until we just want to grab a hammer and play Whack-a-mole with our Abraham CDs.

We hold to the idea that we need to be happy, but we notice we don’t have money and contrast arises. So we think happy thoughts and we feel worse.

You simply cannot create anything if you take contrast out of the equation.

But Abraham is still right. Manifesting is easier if you are happy. But they are also right when they say that happy is too far a stretch for most people. They are also right when they talk about contrast being part of the manifestation process. If you cherry pick the “be happy” part out of all the things they say, it might not turn out like you expect.

A third trap that arises from the idea that you need to become happy to get what you want is that it feeds into the cultural template that you have to do something to get what you want. I would postulate that a primary reason the Abraham says to be happy is because that a happy person is in an extreme state of allowing. However, a person trying to be happy is doing not allowing. Certainly, trying to be happy in the midst of contrast is in their words, “upstream.” You can tell by the resistance you feel when you try to push through the contrast to get to happy. What actually feels like relief at this point is to feel the contrast.

My suggestion is to skip the whole “be happy” idea. Instead, follow the thought that feels better than where you are, the thought that feels like relief. Following the thought that feels better is always the fastest way to get to what you really want. If you make following the thought that feels better a habit, the side effect is that you will become happy.

Please scroll down to comment or ask a clarifying question.



I’d like to say a very special THANK YOU to Frank Butterfield for helping me navigate the delicious contrast of having a website that is not functioning properly. It has been a while since my last post.


(c)2013 Chip Engelmann